Recent events

So I'm nearly all recovered now.
Managed to keep down my first cup of joe with milk in it :O amazing lol.
So disappointed in this weather though!
Got out of work and got my hopes up for a beach day. Sucks that the clouds have come over just before I'm about to put ye olde bikini on.
Oh well, town with my bestest should cheer me up.
Got a lot of hen do planning to do, quite a few people are letting us down after saying they could come. Lamo's!
But there's always lovely people standing in the wings that actually appreciate the invite and the point that its a special occasion, dduuuh!

That's all for now folks. Thanks for listening.

Poison.

It never crosses you're mind that it could happen to you until it does.
Friday nights foam party took a hideous turn for the worse.
I got spiked....
I only have tiny flashes of making it home, before 1am nonetheless.
Other than that I remember nothing. I was told a lot by innocent spectators.
Apparently I appeared to get very drunk insanely quick. I left friends without saying good bye. The taxi driver had to pull over for me to be sick. My little toes were sticking out my shoes. I was sick everywhere until 5am in the morning. My poor mother.
The next thing I know I'm in my pjs wrapped in blankets on the sofa down stairs.
I feel disgustingly ill and a little scared. Wouldnt you be? Not remembering anything with loads of texts from my ex and my sis etc.
The whole of Saturday was a nightmare.
I was sick all day, couldnt even keep water down, I lost track of how many times I was ill.
I tried to sleep it off but I only kept waking up feeling sick again.
Not to mention my masssssive headache banging all day. Limbs ached, noises/smells were too much. I couldnt barely stand up straight.
And today my neck and stomach ached from all the strain alongside that dwelling headache.

Oh boy am I just glad I got home safe. Ive never been such a wreck in my life and would not wish it upon anyone.
Just be careful, okay?

Some people are just born beautiful and cool

Stumbled across this girls profile and she has such an amazing bone structure and her pics make her seem like her life is full of effortless fashion and fun.
sigh.
lucky bitch.
Wouldn't remember her name or put it on here as I wouldnt wanna be a crazy stalker but I think anyone could appreciate the point I'm making. There's always someone else to be envious of.

I have from now till Sunday night.

And I wont be happy if I haven't achieved the following things.
Gone to the foam party.
Tidied my room (to a certain degree)
Helped mum paint
BBQed it up
Trampolined
Drank semi-copious amounts of alcohol.

It's do-able, right?

got nothing but time on our hands.

This is Levi...

He's my sisters dog, but I spend most of my days with him.
Also his ears don't usually stick up like that I just have him lying like a baby on my lap. He's small.

Just realised that pic below looks pretty grody but thats just cus I hadn't got the pen marks off yet.

Its healing up pretty good, already got another belly bar lined up for in 6weeks time haha.

Pretty weird not having to go school or have work preapared for it or coursework etc. Keep thinking that this summer is gonna go on forever but I know deep down its gonna fly right past us. Make the most of it!

Foam party pending....

Pierced and blinged up.
Photo taken from my perspective obv lol.
Did not hurt at all, gonna take some getting used to though.
Achievement :)

One more thing...

Emma Bishop, Emmy, Bemsy, wife....
Congratulations, I am so proud of you and what you can achieve.
A lot of people adore you, as what was proven last night. Some will miss you unbearably and I'm sad but also happy to say I will be one of those people.

Well done Girly.

Last night was really fun, got to have a massive laugh with my family and friends, just what the doctor ordered.
Although I am now currently feeling knackered. The life force just is on a break within me and has a come back later sign attached to it.
I think I need a heavy night out though soon just to prove I can still do it as this small nights seem to be knocking me off atm, perhaps its the long and mentally killing days that are previously attached to them? Who knows.

Booking and Booked the belly button piercing and Father's Day meal.

I'll keep you posted, in the words of Gossip Girl,

xoxo

100th Post!!!

It's done. dusted. finished. over.
No English Literature for me EVER AGAIN!
I gotta tell ya....i'm pooped, mentally and physically.

But no more sixth form, ever.....just summer and good times starting from tonight!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

My head is literally going to explode. My stupid exam, which my future and its path depends on, is tomorrow. There's not really much more I can do. I've been getting C+ throughout all the practice exams and if i don't do well tomorrow then that's it.
I can't make more information go in. If it's not there already then there is no hope.

Reading a girl from the year befores exam (inc. examiner notes) it's interesting, I dont actually know how she managed to attain the grade she did and I'm only getting C's? What is wrong?

Brain. Ache.

Tomorrow should bring happier things, after the exam that is.
It's my best friend's Race Night to raise money for her 3month stint volunteering in Africa.
More power to her.
Plus who can pass up an excuse to blow off steam with a glass of Rose and good company :)

My mum.

It goes without saying, but I love her.

I've just finished watching the last ever episode of the Gilmore Girls, again. It always brings a tear to my eye.
I dont have the same family situation as that programme but just the mother/daughter relationship always touches me. Even when my mother and I have the most blazing rows we can't stay mad at eachother and are best friends again five minutes later. Because thats what she is, my best friend. She always has been and people have often been envious of how close we've always been.
I can depend on her for absolutely everything. I'm independent too but it still terrifies me the thought of leaving her in September, not seeing her everyday, getting a hug whenever I need it etc etc.

it's gonna be an emotional rollercoaster. I love you mum.

Last Friday night

 

Yeah we danced on tabletops

 

And we took too many shots

 

Think we kissed but I forgot

 

Last Friday night

 

Yeah we maxed our credit cards

 

and got kicked out of the bar

 

So we hit the boulevard

 

Last Friday night

 

We went streaking in the park

 

Skinny dipping in the dark

 

Then had a menage a trois

 

Last Friday night

 

Yeah I think we broke the law

 

Always say we're gonna stop

 

But this Friday night

 

Do it all again

 

This Friday night

 

Do it all again.

you're hogging up all the ugly hahaha.

And now Dianna Agron has THE hair.
Why does everyone get to cut their hair before me!

Gotta love online virtual make overs...

I think you get the picture.

So doctors suck. Well atleast mine does.
Not gonna name names, she knows who she is haha.
You think it was so hard for them to just, oh i dont know, do their jobs?
You're my GP and I'm the one that has to do the back tracking and work.
Here's an idea get in contact with my previous doctors atleast they knew what was going on. Pfft and you put your degrees up on the wall thinking that makes you smart.

Rant over. Don't get ill, and if you do, treat yourself because you're the only one who knows your body.

oh and fearne cotton now has the bob i want! dammit why cant abbeys wedding come sooner so i can have it.

oh FYI, have some pretty attractive guys from a sailing team in my hotel atm, but do you think they'd bat an eyelash at me....no.

perhaps i should serve them in a wetsuit....might get some attention then haha.

Stressed out man.
I know everyone is but I can't help complaining and saying i don't know how much longer I can deal with it all.
It all comprises of - trying to keep everyone happy - work - school&pending exams - doctors appts. - applying for a DSA - helping out around the house - trying to keep weight off!

I just cant enjoy the things I used to atm.
For instance, just reading a book, one you're truly interested in, just because you want to. I used to read on the bus, I just cant at all because my mind is constantly wandering onto others woes and worries.

It sucks.

Started to use anti wrinkle cream on my overly expressive forehead for a little while but my skin started breaking out so I stopped, but I dont know whether that just happened cus of the stress. Either way I'll wait.

Perfection doesn't just happen they say, but I'm sure it can wait. (If I ever find it.)

Chilling in the sun in the back garden....somethings missing.....

i miss pimms!

Dream a little dream.

Had two dreams of interest lately, one wishful thinking and one not so wishful thinking.

The first and happier of the two was about me at Uni, freshers week. Strangely enough my sister and Lisa and a girl I work with, Niamh, were trying to hook me up with a guy who was at my Uni. But all he had done is smle at me so I was convinced he wasnt into me. Then one night BOOM he talks to me. He is lovely, His name is Jaime and he has dimples and is athletic. He was the same height as me but I could forgive that because I fell in love with his personality. He had the softest kiss...awww ♥

It's nice to think of and remember, I hope he is real in some form and I find him somewhere.

Second dream, sad and serious.
Due to the way my life is going atm this could be a real possibility so it was quite horrid to think of.
In this dream I had an invasive procedure which led to the diagnosis that I only have a year of fertility left. So in having serious chats with my mother we come to the conclusion that I can't pass up my only chance to have a kid and my parents set in motion for me to go to a sperm bank and arrange with Uni that I defer and come back next year....with my babba.

If anyone makes a sitcom or drama out of these 2 pitches I'd like some rights please :P

My Guilty Pleasure ♥

and I dont care who knows it!

at the end of the day who wouldn't want their own Hugo.

i love scrapbooking.
did a lot more to the one I've had since I was 16.

Long live the memories we make.

did I agree to booty calls?

haha.
So.
I'm tipsy. Aaaand blogging in such circumstances turns out to be fun.
It's only a bottle of wine. Rose to be specific, the stuff is like juice to me these days.
Drinking alone is a sad sad thing, but after asking 4 of my closest friends to come round to keep me company and getting 4 refusals from this I felt a bit, rejected/depressed/supressed/vulnerable etc.
Not to mention the knowledge of my sisters going out on the razz without me...
I havent been out properly since Lisa's Hen do, but really I felt like I was working a bit so the last real fun night was the Only Way is Weymouth.
Ah well.
At first this night by my lonesome went so slow but for obvious reasons the wine sped things up.
I did intend to do other things, like have a relaxing bath, watch a movie I've never seen before and play on the xbox but as usual, my plans never go to plan.
Although Im feeling fuzzy I've somehow managed to remember things I've forgot to do in the last week, online banking, orange accounts etc.
With the parents away I've taken full advantage of roaming the house.
What am I gonna be like at Uni.
I require company but I can't always be active due to my illness, it's physically impossible.
Hopefully my flat mates respect my wavering predicament.

High Hopes and Pipe Dreams my sweeties.

I can't wait for the new me to arrive....

To mis-quote the annoying Nikki Grahame 'Who are you?!'

I literally have no clue who you are anymore....did I ever?
Were the moments I saw of you distorted from the truth?
Seriously the mess you have made is ridiculous. No one wants to help you clean it up, but guess what, as usual we do.
Yeah you can be over the top nice and caring but at the end of the day you have a long way to go before you earn my respect, care and trust again.

You're looking fat and exhausted..... ha.