Sooooo tonight is the foam party. I can't wait, should be fun.
Just gotta sort out what to wear....jeans are out of the question as they would get soaked and would be about as easy to walk in as swimming in porridge. Strange analogy but interesting to imagine ha.
Life is not too bad at the moment, gotta take everyday at it comes and although that's a bit mundane at the moment I'm sure it'll pick up. Feel a bit stretched at the moment but it's nearly easter so things should give a little soon.
Also doing a virtual car boot sale on the book of face at the mo. Not catching much interest, thinking maybe either everyone is skint or too skinny for my clothes (and massive feet so selling my shoes just isn't gonna happen). Some one please buy my crap. lol.
Brother isn't annoying me too much at the moment, I try to let most of it go over my head and will just have to get out of the house as much as poss during summer.
But overall the family feels a bit disjointed at the moment. No one is really spending much time together as a tactic to avoid butting heads and causing confrontation. Wise in some respects but in other ways I feel like we're all just drifting past each other.
It's days like this I hate living away from any of my friends. The sun is beaming and I just want to revel in it.
Carpe Diem...
I'm taking the dog for a walk.
Friday, 25 March 2011
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Doll
Maybe one day you might read this, I dont know, but I hope you do. And not take it the wrong way or feel hurt from it. It's just my intepretation.
I feel let down a little.
I called you my best friend and we confided a lot into each other in 2010. Actually, we were really inseparable. Texting most days, meetings, talking online.
I thought I had helped you when everyone else let you down. And in turn you listened to my crap too, occasionally.
I suppose it's like a feeling of being a rag doll, being picked up and put down when it suits.
I was flavour of the month but maybe I wasnt giving you what you wanted, is that why it deteriorated?
I'm not trying to offend, far from it as I'm doing this because I care.
But it was all so sudden and now feels like everyone gets time and effort but I dont.
I always said I was selfish. Maybe you finally realised I am.
Feels like a retrograde, we've walked backwards, too far this time.
I miss it, but maybe I gave too much but not enough all in the same moments.
Cheddar x
I feel let down a little.
I called you my best friend and we confided a lot into each other in 2010. Actually, we were really inseparable. Texting most days, meetings, talking online.
I thought I had helped you when everyone else let you down. And in turn you listened to my crap too, occasionally.
I suppose it's like a feeling of being a rag doll, being picked up and put down when it suits.
I was flavour of the month but maybe I wasnt giving you what you wanted, is that why it deteriorated?
I'm not trying to offend, far from it as I'm doing this because I care.
But it was all so sudden and now feels like everyone gets time and effort but I dont.
I always said I was selfish. Maybe you finally realised I am.
Feels like a retrograde, we've walked backwards, too far this time.
I miss it, but maybe I gave too much but not enough all in the same moments.
Cheddar x
Chapter Nine.
Hair and Flare.
Scott Cornwall Colour B4. 7.5 out of 10.
I'm a bit of a copperhead at the moment. Or another favourite is Ginger biscuit colour which, if you can imagine one, is a good comparison of colours.
It did smell of eggs but I'd read reviews so I knew it would. Plus you get used to it as you're sat with it for well over an hour on your head taking in account the application and 60min setting. I also looked like I was trying to contact an alien planet as I then had to have my head wrapped in cling film. That was to hold in the heat so it got through my thick hair.
I gave up hair dye for lent so I felt that this was the best option. It's gonna take a while to get used to the colour and possibly to sort out my new dry ends but I think my hair will thank me in the long run.
It's one of my best one's 19th soon and she has said she wants to go to a foam party for this. Which I must say I am sooooo excited for! I've never been to one so I'll be glad of the experience :)
Also other parties I am attending is the twins in the year belows 18th. Theme = Twins. So creative! Cant wait to suit up :P
Although I've got to watch my monies atm as after this Fridays Ortordontist appointment, I have a strange feeling I'm going to be shelling out some nice moolar for new retainers as one of them is broke. Awesome.
And then that begins all the other expenses, ah well. I'm always winging about money haha.
I think I'll leave it there for now.
Scott Cornwall Colour B4. 7.5 out of 10.
I'm a bit of a copperhead at the moment. Or another favourite is Ginger biscuit colour which, if you can imagine one, is a good comparison of colours.
It did smell of eggs but I'd read reviews so I knew it would. Plus you get used to it as you're sat with it for well over an hour on your head taking in account the application and 60min setting. I also looked like I was trying to contact an alien planet as I then had to have my head wrapped in cling film. That was to hold in the heat so it got through my thick hair.
I gave up hair dye for lent so I felt that this was the best option. It's gonna take a while to get used to the colour and possibly to sort out my new dry ends but I think my hair will thank me in the long run.
It's one of my best one's 19th soon and she has said she wants to go to a foam party for this. Which I must say I am sooooo excited for! I've never been to one so I'll be glad of the experience :)
Also other parties I am attending is the twins in the year belows 18th. Theme = Twins. So creative! Cant wait to suit up :P
Although I've got to watch my monies atm as after this Fridays Ortordontist appointment, I have a strange feeling I'm going to be shelling out some nice moolar for new retainers as one of them is broke. Awesome.
And then that begins all the other expenses, ah well. I'm always winging about money haha.
I think I'll leave it there for now.
Friday, 11 March 2011
Chapter Eight.
Mother's and Monies.
No matter what age I will be (or any of us I'm sure) I will always treasure the moment when I'm ill or tired and my mum strokes my forehead and hair. It's like magic, it always makes you feel just that fraction better. Like they always know that this will make you better. I've been relying heavily on my mother recently. Due to extreme tiredness and stress. And I'm sure when my brother moves in later this month, that I'm gonna need her more than ever to not only be diplomatic but to stick by my side. The next few months are gonna be tough family feuding-wise.
I'm tired of not having money. I put it in my bank but it doesnt seem to do much and is soon gone again. Where it goes, no one knows.
Made a snap purchase the today. Scott Cornwall Colour B4 extra strength. So its meant to strip my hair back to a lighter/warmer version of my original hair colour. Here's hoping or I'm gonna be walking round with a funky looking hair.
I'll give you a picture update of it when it happens.
short one, laters.
No matter what age I will be (or any of us I'm sure) I will always treasure the moment when I'm ill or tired and my mum strokes my forehead and hair. It's like magic, it always makes you feel just that fraction better. Like they always know that this will make you better. I've been relying heavily on my mother recently. Due to extreme tiredness and stress. And I'm sure when my brother moves in later this month, that I'm gonna need her more than ever to not only be diplomatic but to stick by my side. The next few months are gonna be tough family feuding-wise.
I'm tired of not having money. I put it in my bank but it doesnt seem to do much and is soon gone again. Where it goes, no one knows.
Made a snap purchase the today. Scott Cornwall Colour B4 extra strength. So its meant to strip my hair back to a lighter/warmer version of my original hair colour. Here's hoping or I'm gonna be walking round with a funky looking hair.
I'll give you a picture update of it when it happens.
short one, laters.
Sunday, 6 March 2011
Chapter Seven.
Wonders and Worries.
Sometimes I actually wonder if I have this illness. There's days when I feel like I have all the energy in the world, that I can do everything I want do. But then I'm brought crashing back down to earth when I feel the reprocussions of a high energy day. I went to see the Saturdays with my mother and two sisters on saturday funnily enough. We had to get there early-ish to collect our tickets and parking. So I took the intiative to book us a table at a restaurant and got directions off google maps. But do you think we could find it? After trekking around up and down bumpy paths etc my heels were giving me a pair of throbbing feet. So we walked back and settled for Hot Rocks which was 2mins away from the BIC.
The Concert was amazing, they really put on a good show, I dont what was wrong with the audience though. When the act on stage tells you all to get on your feet you dont just stand there dead, you're expected to dance! I dunno, none so queer as folk, my mum would say.
Anyway as soon as we got home I was zonked. I was barely alive once my head hit the pillow. I forced myself to wake the next day to go to work but once I got in my Dads car after shift I allowed my body to rest and everything was blurry after that. I don't really remember an conversations that took place or getting back into my house. I slept until about 2ish then until I had to awake for Sunday tea. I was sore and and tender and my joints felt so locked. I still craved more sleep.
I HATE with a passion to winge. It's a weak impulse. But I don't see this as me winging. This is me realising that I can't do it all. I believe that if I have the energy of a normal teen that I'd be superwoman. Sure I'd have my lazy days but I could do so much more with my life.
Still no reply from Portsmouth. I just need a boost. Im contemplating going to the dog racing on friday with my sis for a guy I work with birthday. I suppose I should, just to do something but now I'm getting money again it's gonna be hard to part with it.
'That's a lovely girl you have there'.
Words I heard uttered from my Nans mouth to my Mum as I was walking out the door to work.
I was upstairs just finishing getting dressed after a shower on Friday morning. Mum was at work and Nan was downstairs. Next thing I heard was a thud from below me and then some whimpering. I catapulted myself across my bed and down those stairs so quick. Charley already on the scene licking her chin, his tail wasn't wagging, he knew it wasn't a game she was playing this time. She was on the floor, glasses laying next to her, blood trickling down her eyebrow. 'NAN!'
I lifted her up and helped her to the sofa. 'Stay there'. I rushed to get a cold compress. Once all cleaned up I got her a cup of tea.
This may seem like an over dramatic view but I swear with no word of a lie that is exactly what happened. No one likes to see their loved ones hurt. I felt guilty that I was upstairs when it happened and that I was the only one in the house.
Life and its little drama's. I was supposed to publish this about a week ago but I didnt know how appropriate it was to disclose this information. Probably not very but this is life and these things do happen.
Sometimes I actually wonder if I have this illness. There's days when I feel like I have all the energy in the world, that I can do everything I want do. But then I'm brought crashing back down to earth when I feel the reprocussions of a high energy day. I went to see the Saturdays with my mother and two sisters on saturday funnily enough. We had to get there early-ish to collect our tickets and parking. So I took the intiative to book us a table at a restaurant and got directions off google maps. But do you think we could find it? After trekking around up and down bumpy paths etc my heels were giving me a pair of throbbing feet. So we walked back and settled for Hot Rocks which was 2mins away from the BIC.
The Concert was amazing, they really put on a good show, I dont what was wrong with the audience though. When the act on stage tells you all to get on your feet you dont just stand there dead, you're expected to dance! I dunno, none so queer as folk, my mum would say.
Anyway as soon as we got home I was zonked. I was barely alive once my head hit the pillow. I forced myself to wake the next day to go to work but once I got in my Dads car after shift I allowed my body to rest and everything was blurry after that. I don't really remember an conversations that took place or getting back into my house. I slept until about 2ish then until I had to awake for Sunday tea. I was sore and and tender and my joints felt so locked. I still craved more sleep.
I HATE with a passion to winge. It's a weak impulse. But I don't see this as me winging. This is me realising that I can't do it all. I believe that if I have the energy of a normal teen that I'd be superwoman. Sure I'd have my lazy days but I could do so much more with my life.
Still no reply from Portsmouth. I just need a boost. Im contemplating going to the dog racing on friday with my sis for a guy I work with birthday. I suppose I should, just to do something but now I'm getting money again it's gonna be hard to part with it.
'That's a lovely girl you have there'.
Words I heard uttered from my Nans mouth to my Mum as I was walking out the door to work.
I was upstairs just finishing getting dressed after a shower on Friday morning. Mum was at work and Nan was downstairs. Next thing I heard was a thud from below me and then some whimpering. I catapulted myself across my bed and down those stairs so quick. Charley already on the scene licking her chin, his tail wasn't wagging, he knew it wasn't a game she was playing this time. She was on the floor, glasses laying next to her, blood trickling down her eyebrow. 'NAN!'
I lifted her up and helped her to the sofa. 'Stay there'. I rushed to get a cold compress. Once all cleaned up I got her a cup of tea.
This may seem like an over dramatic view but I swear with no word of a lie that is exactly what happened. No one likes to see their loved ones hurt. I felt guilty that I was upstairs when it happened and that I was the only one in the house.
Life and its little drama's. I was supposed to publish this about a week ago but I didnt know how appropriate it was to disclose this information. Probably not very but this is life and these things do happen.
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