Wonders and Worries.
Sometimes I actually wonder if I have this illness. There's days when I feel like I have all the energy in the world, that I can do everything I want do. But then I'm brought crashing back down to earth when I feel the reprocussions of a high energy day. I went to see the Saturdays with my mother and two sisters on saturday funnily enough. We had to get there early-ish to collect our tickets and parking. So I took the intiative to book us a table at a restaurant and got directions off google maps. But do you think we could find it? After trekking around up and down bumpy paths etc my heels were giving me a pair of throbbing feet. So we walked back and settled for Hot Rocks which was 2mins away from the BIC.
The Concert was amazing, they really put on a good show, I dont what was wrong with the audience though. When the act on stage tells you all to get on your feet you dont just stand there dead, you're expected to dance! I dunno, none so queer as folk, my mum would say.
Anyway as soon as we got home I was zonked. I was barely alive once my head hit the pillow. I forced myself to wake the next day to go to work but once I got in my Dads car after shift I allowed my body to rest and everything was blurry after that. I don't really remember an conversations that took place or getting back into my house. I slept until about 2ish then until I had to awake for Sunday tea. I was sore and and tender and my joints felt so locked. I still craved more sleep.
I HATE with a passion to winge. It's a weak impulse. But I don't see this as me winging. This is me realising that I can't do it all. I believe that if I have the energy of a normal teen that I'd be superwoman. Sure I'd have my lazy days but I could do so much more with my life.
Still no reply from Portsmouth. I just need a boost. Im contemplating going to the dog racing on friday with my sis for a guy I work with birthday. I suppose I should, just to do something but now I'm getting money again it's gonna be hard to part with it.
'That's a lovely girl you have there'.
Words I heard uttered from my Nans mouth to my Mum as I was walking out the door to work.
I was upstairs just finishing getting dressed after a shower on Friday morning. Mum was at work and Nan was downstairs. Next thing I heard was a thud from below me and then some whimpering. I catapulted myself across my bed and down those stairs so quick. Charley already on the scene licking her chin, his tail wasn't wagging, he knew it wasn't a game she was playing this time. She was on the floor, glasses laying next to her, blood trickling down her eyebrow. 'NAN!'
I lifted her up and helped her to the sofa. 'Stay there'. I rushed to get a cold compress. Once all cleaned up I got her a cup of tea.
This may seem like an over dramatic view but I swear with no word of a lie that is exactly what happened. No one likes to see their loved ones hurt. I felt guilty that I was upstairs when it happened and that I was the only one in the house.
Life and its little drama's. I was supposed to publish this about a week ago but I didnt know how appropriate it was to disclose this information. Probably not very but this is life and these things do happen.